I belong to a web group of parents of children with down syndrome. I mostly surf through and read others' comments and keep my posts to a minimum. I've learned so much, and the most important thing I've learned is that every child is different, even when they're the same. There are well over 1000 members, so every once in a while I read a post that makes me think, like yesterday. A lady wrote in saying she wanted to visit our site because her 17 year old daughter (not ds) has been dating a 20 year old man with ds. At first I thought it was sweet and told Bill about it. The relationship was serious and the lady wanted some opinions from us. The ladies on the site gushed about how open minded she and her daughter were and thought it was terrific.
Then Bill asked, "What if one of our daughters got into a serious relationship with a guy with ds?"
My mind went from -"Yea, Enoch could date 'normal' girls I bet!" to "What?!?!?!"
I have to say that I'm still reeling from Bill's question, why? Why is it so hard for me to except Enoch in a relationship with a regular girl, but so much harder for me to think about one of my girls with a boy with ds? I gave the, "shorter life span, early onset dementia, harder to make a living, couldn't have children..." excuses - Bill just looked at me and smiled his reply of "people die every day, all sorts of people have unforeseen difficulties, there are many who can't have children."
Then it occurred to me that I know my daughter would be treated like a queen every day of her life. I know she would receive nothing but love from him. I know that after this very short existence on earth she would be married to one of the great and noble ones for eternity.
It's still hard for me to wrap my mind around, so I want to know why that is -help me out! (This is cheaper than therapy and I trust you:-)